Numb
by Effigy
Summary: Songfic: Linkin Park's Numb. Legolas reminisces about his childhood and past events.


Disclaimer: I own nothing and I am making no profits off any of this. Lord of the Rings does not belong to me and neither does the song that accompanies my story. The song belongs to Linkin Park. Once again I own nothing.  
  
Numb  
  
I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
  
Feeling so faithless  
  
Lost under the surface  
  
Legolas rubbed his tired eyes and glanced down at the stack of paperwork sitting in front of him. The words shifted in and out of focus. He was more tired than he cared to admit, but there was too much to do and too little time to sleep. He glanced at the window and saw the soft, tiny snowflakes drifting steadily downward and making their home on the forest floor. Staring at the world his half-lidded glazed over eyes, his mind left his current duties.  
  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
  
Put under the pressure  
  
Of walking in your shoes  
  
Tiny little blue eyes peered over the dark brown desk and a soft gasped was heard as the prize was spotted. His small pale hands pushed his golden hair away from his face before he grasped the leg of a nearby chair and with a struggled grunt he pulled it closer to the desk. He scaled the chair and slowly reached his hand out and touched the shiny dagger. He gave a large toothy grin and grasped the dagger.  
  
"Drop it"  
  
Legolas' head shot up and he let the dagger fall to the desk with a clatter. Standing before him was his nursemaid, who was giving him an angry and disapproving stare.  
  
"Your father would never do something like this. Don't you want to grow up to become a great warrior and king like he is?"  
  
Caught in the undertow  
  
Just caught in the undertow  
  
Every step that I take  
  
Is another mistake to you  
  
Legolas' eyes focused on the sleek black creature in front of him. The creature sporadically crawled its way to the fruit of its labor. With a flying leap, it landed on the sweet pomegranate. Too intent on tasting the juices, the creature did not see the giant hand until it was too late.  
  
"No! Why did you do that?"  
  
Several faces turned to face the small child, each giving their own version of a disapproving glare. Legolas recoiled in his seat after meeting his father's stare.  
  
"My lord, your son needs more discipline"  
  
Legolas felt his father's eyes on him for a moment longer before he felt his eyes shift away from him and back to the meeting at hand.  
  
I've become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there  
  
Become so tired  
  
So much more aware  
  
Legolas stared as his new masterpiece. He had spent so long on it, making sure everything was perfect. The colors bended together flawlessly and the people looked so much like who they were suppose to be, even though they were only stick figures. Legolas quickly grabbed the paper and ran to show his father. He found his father hunched over some paperwork at his desk.  
  
"Ada! Ada! Look what I drew!"  
  
"It's beautiful, Legolas."  
  
"Adar, you did not even look at it."  
  
"Legolas I do not have time for this."  
  
"I just wanted to show you my picture."  
  
"Legolas..."  
  
Legolas heard the warning in his father's voice and dejectedly turned and walked away.  
  
By becoming this  
  
All I want to do  
  
Is be more like me  
  
And be less like you  
  
"Legolas, where are you going?"  
  
Legolas turned to see his father's aid watching him intently. With an audible sigh, Legolas replied, "I am going swimming."  
  
"You do not have time to swim. Are you not supposed to be in a meeting soon?"  
  
"I have been in meetings all day. I am not needed. I though I would eschew this meeting."  
  
"Legolas, you may rule this kingdom one day. You need to know what to do and how to handle things."  
  
Can't you see that you're smothering me  
  
Holding too tightly  
  
Afraid to lose control  
  
Legolas and his friend dully watch what was happening around them. Nothing out of the ordinary. Elves were scurrying past them with important matters to attend to; elflings were playing with each other, for it was beautiful day. The sun was shining, birds were singing and the wind gently caressed everyone's face. People were living their lives and Legolas was standing there waiting for anything to happen.  
  
"I am so tired of being on home guard."  
  
"Your skills are wasted here. Have you spoken to Amras about it?"  
  
"Aye, he says he cannot let me patrol anywhere else, until my father gives him the word. I am never going to get out of here. He is far too overprotective."  
  
Cause everything that you though I would be  
  
Is falling apart right in front of you  
  
Amras watched Legolas with cold eyes before signaling him to take a seat. A deafening silence hung in the air. Legolas could not understand what the big deal was. He had not done anything horribly wrong. Legolas had finally made it to border patrol and was scouting early one afternoon. He had come across a small band of orcs; there were only five of them. There was no reason to alert the patrol about such a small number, so he advanced on them. He chose to use his blades, instead of his bow. He knew he could win with either one; he just wanted some excitement along the way and his blades provided that more than his bow. He had managed to kill four, but somewhere during the battle the fifth one snuck away. The orc made his way back to the main group and the attacked the elven patrol soon after. Though the elves were taken by surprise, they had won with no injuries.  
  
"Legolas, you are a prince. You cannot throw yourself carelessly into battle. You need to learn this and until you do you will remain at home guard."  
  
Caught in the undertow  
  
Just caught in the undertow  
  
Every step that I take  
  
Is another mistake to you  
  
Thranduil quietly opened the door to the library and found what he had been looking for. Legolas was stretched out on a chair reading a book.  
  
"Legolas did you calculate the weapon expenses?"  
  
"Yes, and I already ordered what we were short in."  
  
"You were wrong."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You did your math wrong. Your mistake cost us much."  
  
"I am sorry adar."  
  
"Of course you are. You are always sorry."  
  
Caught in the undertow  
  
Just caught in the undertow  
  
And every second I waste  
  
Is more than I can take  
  
Legolas gazed around him before he snuck inside his room and carefully closed and locked the door. With a breathed sigh, Legolas closed his eyes are leaned against the door. It was a very stressful week and he need some time alone. He was so tired. He let his legs give away under him and with his back still on the door he slid to the floor. Wrapping his arms around his legs, Legolas pressed his forehead to his knees. He was too tired. Too soon for him there came a hard tapping upon his door.  
  
"Legolas, are you in there? You are needed. There is a dispute you need to settle."  
  
I've become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there  
  
Become so tired  
  
So much more aware  
  
The young prince was sprawled out on the floor surrounded by papers of various nature. His face was buried in his arms and his breath came in slow regular intervals. Even in his dreams, Legolas felt eyes on him and with a slight hesitation he lifted his head to spy disappointed eyes watching him.  
  
"You shouldn't do things of that nature, my lord. That is un-prince like."  
  
By becoming this  
  
All I want to do  
  
Is be more like me  
  
And be less like you  
  
"Legolas, you need to, you are going to rule the kingdom one day."  
  
And I know  
  
I may be failing too  
  
But I know  
  
You were just like me  
  
With someone disappointed in you  
  
Legolas' horse slowed from its trot and stopped in front of Thranduil, who was waiting for Legolas by the stables. Legolas' smile drifted from his face when he saw the seriousness of his father. They each held their positions for a moment before Thranduil released a heavy sigh. Legolas dropped his gaze as his father turned and walked back to the palace.  
  
I've become so numb  
  
I can't feel you there  
  
"Legolas you are a prince, you need to act noble."  
  
Become so tired  
  
So much more aware  
  
"Damnit Legolas."  
  
By becoming this  
  
All I want to do  
  
A loud clap of thunder brought Legolas out of his thoughts. How bizarre. A snowstorm with thunder. Legolas redirected his gaze to the unfinished paperwork still upon him. During his daydreams the sun has fallen below the horizon. The words were still blurring in front of him.  
  
Is be more like me  
  
And be less like you  
  
Legolas tensed and jumped when he felt two strong hands upon his shoulders. Turning to face the intruder, Legolas saw his father kneeling down beside him.  
  
"You are tired ion-nin. Take the night off and get some rest."  
  
Thranduil stood and kiss the top of Legolas' head before retreating out of his room. Legolas watched his father leave with a confused look across his face. He quickly rose and followed his father.  
  
"Adar, would you like to dine with me?"  
  
"I would love to Legolas." 


End file.
